Farming 101

Life is different here. And if you want to fit in with the farmers, you've gotta know some things.

Here are a few observations of this family farm:


1) Truck vs. pickup

If your vehicle only has 4 wheels, it is not a truck. It might be a pickup, but it is not a truck. If your vehicle has 10 wheels, it can now be labeled a truck.

2) Not your pickup? Oh well.

If you need a ride somewhere or if someone needs to be picked up, you never walk. It takes too long. You hop in the nearest vehicle and drive there. It doesn't really matter who's it is. It's unlocked and the keys are in the car. Just take it, and make sure you bring it back sometime or let the owner know where you left it.

3) The lingo

Repeat after me:

Canal. 
How do you pronounce this word? Nope. You're saying it wrong.
It's can-ell.

Corral.
Yep. You're saying this one wrong too. Silly, city folk.
It's correll. Or crell, if you're in a hurry.

Jockey box.
Also known as the glove box/compartment in your car.

The [noun] needs [verbbed].
Examples: The car needs washed.
The lawn needs mowed.
The chickens need fed.
The laundry needs done.

The "to be" doesn't need added in the sentence.

I particularly enjoy this one. I have a B.A. in English. The language quirks are my favorite. No sarcasm.

4) City folk

If you're not from here or another farming community, you are considered a "city girl/boy." This one was really funny to me. I'm from the suburbs in Colorado. I'm from a town, not a city. But, hey. I don't make the labels, I just fit them. Haha

5) Milk

Milk should be and will be consumed with every meal. (Except at our house, where the doctrine of juice has also been adopted.) Water? That's just the stuff you replenish your sweat with during work hours.

6) Flies

I thought I knew what it was like to be annoyed by flies. Nope. You don't know flies until it's grain harvest AND you have cows in your backyard. Bad combo.

Welcome to the life of upside down table settings and fly tape. The life of squeezing through the smallest gap in the door you can with your arms full of groceries and dropping half of them to get the door closed before they buzz in to multiply and replenish your house. Welcome to the life of always having a fly swatter near you, and vacuuming up fly carcasses daily. And mostly, welcome to the life of waking up from every nap you take every 30 seconds to swat a fly from your face.

It's always the face.

7) Harvest widows

I don't know if I was just out of the loop, but I didn't know about the super long harvest hours until my bridal shower up here when everyone congratulated me on my upcoming stint as a farmer's widow. Let's just say that we had dinner when Logan got home at 10:30 PM last night. And that was average. We pretty much only see each other to eat and to sleep.

8) December babies

In the Searle family, there are 5 babies due in December this year. To quote one of the mother's-to-be: "Man, it just goes to show when farmers aren't busy." Between harvest and planting.

9) More terminology

Pivot
One of those big, long sprinkler lines on wheels that waters a field in a wedge or a half-circle like a windshield wiper. This is also used as a measurement. "We had to walk the whole pivot-length of the field to get the cow, and it wasn't even ours!" "We finished a whole pivot [of harvesting] in field 4 today." Sometimes these are called linears too. I don't understand the difference.

Wheel line 
The straight line of sprinklers on wheels that go straight across the field.

Hand line
Big pipes that you move by hand that water the field.

10) The balance

None of these "rules" are set in stone or super enforced because farmers are laid back. They aren't uptight about anything. It is an interesting dichotomy because they work so hard and don't know how to not work EVER, but they are so chill about everything. It is a balance that I someday hope to master.


Congratulations! You now have some "field cred" for the farm! (Like street cred, but better, obviously.)