I hope I'm not about to jinx myself here when I tell you that this pregnancy has really been an easy one so far. I'm occasionally queasy, often tired, and have the usual little aches and pains, but I am feeling great now that I am well into the 2nd trimester. I'm about halfway through week 17 (out of 40).
We'll have an ultrasound to determine gender in a couple of weeks. I've had a little bump for a while, but a few days ago, I really popped out all of a sudden. Now, it's fairly apparent that I'm pregnant. Also, I cannot reiterate it enough. If you've never been pregnant before, just take a picture of your belly button before you get big. You'll thank me later. It will never be the same. Mine is already sticking out this time. Seriously.
And I need to soapbox for a second. This lady at the store went on and on about how TINY I am the other day. My answer was, "Yeah, it always seems that way to other people, doesn't it?" To which she just kept telling me, rather forcefully, that I was SOOO tiny.
It is never a compliment to continually insist that someone's opinion or feeling is wrong and that your's is right. Ever. And usually when someone is insisting to a thin person that they are tiny/skinny/perfect/etc, it's not a compliment either.
What they say: You're SOOO tiny! Seriously.
What they mean: You're skinny so you have no problems or body image issues, so quit acting like you can even talk about anything like that. I'm the authority here on your body and feelings, not you.
And when it comes to pregnancy, I've never understood why it's all of a sudden ok to comment on a person's size just because they are pregnant. (As if pregnant ladies don't have feelings. PLEASE. We have more feelings than we can handle, which is why commercials and food make us cry.) A couple of my sisters are very thin and they get really big bellies in the late stages of pregnancy. People point and laugh and make comments in the store like, "Woah, you need to see a doctor right away. Something's wrong with you!"
Do you see me walking up to an overweight man in the store and rubbing his belly and telling him he needs to see a doctor? No. Because it wouldn't be funny or polite. Guess what random grocery store shoppers. It's not funny or polite to do it to a pregnant lady either. Just saying.
And when people have really small pregnancy bumps, it's the same attitude as talking to a thin person.
What they say: You are so lucky. You don't even look pregnant. I'm HUGE!
What they mean: You're not massive, therefore, you have no problems and nothing to complain about. In fact, why don't you just stand there and let me tell you how right I am about you because you have a small belly.
I'm not even close to being the only person who feels this way. In fact, I've never talked to a pregnant lady who likes hearing (especially from strangers) that they are MASSIVE or TINY. And is this blog going to do anything to fix the problem? Nope!
I just wanted to write a little PSA in case anyone actually didn't know that pregnant people (or really any people [yes, including "skinny" people]) don't like to have their body shape and size examined out loud by other people. I think a lot of people don't think about it before they say anything or they think they're being funny. And some people mean well. And yes, it's my job to get over it and not let it bother me. But I'm just sayin.
Soapbox over.
The only things that really make me feel like I am pregnant are my dreams and my cravings/aversions. [And let's not talk about my hormones. The soapbox explains that one for you. ;) ]
Last night... well, early this morning, I had a dream that Logan didn't want to sleep next to me so he moved out to the guest house to sleep on the couch. [Because we totally have a guesthouse next to our apartment... you know.] In reality, he just left for work.
A few weeks ago I dreamt that my best friend, who is getting married in August, got married in this leotard dress with pom pom sleeves, and was magically a piano prodigy. [She doesn't even play the piano.]
And the worst one was getting bitten by a rattlesnake when I opened a cupboard and reached in. [But apparently my brother had already "neutralized" the venom... ? So I survived?]
I could never explain the detail in these dreams. But that last one, haunted me for days. It felt so REAL.
I have gained almost no weight, mainly because food has just been the enemy with me this pregnancy. Most of the time food just sounds terrible, even when I'm hungry. One or two completely random things may sound edible, but other than that, I'm just cramming food down to fill my belly. It was not like this when I was pregnant with Audrey.
The other day, I had a bowl of peas for second breakfast. Pizza hot pockets are a staple for breakfast. Ice cream almost always sounds ok. Logan did have to go out late one night for a doughnut with chocolate frosting. [I don't normally like doughnuts at all.] I could drink pickle juice by the gallon. The pickles are OK, but the JUICE!! MMmmmm. [Pause for a break while I go gulp some.] Meat almost never sounds good, except for chicken and hamburgers.
I've learned to get around this by making a list of foods and just making sure that dinner is something that sounds good to Logan that night, and forking it down whether it seems like food to me or not. But some days, I just have to have what I'm craving.
Yesterday it was Mexican beans and rice. Logan is so patient with these unpredictable and inconvenient cravings. So, we went to a Mexican place near us. He ordered a tostada, but didn't realize it was going to be the size of a medium pizza! Largest tostada I've ever seen. I guess that's his reward for being so kind to his crazy wife.
Audrey is as talkative and sweet as ever at 14 months old. She's been especially worried about where Daddy is all day lately. We have long [repetitive] conversations about this all day. She's working on cutting her 9th and 10th teeth, which is always a blast. And she brings me shoes to put on her feet all day.
The other day, I had her all dressed and ready to swim in the pool at our apartment. We walked over there to find it closed. Since she was already in a swim diaper, (those things DO NOT keep pee in) I had to think fast. So I pulled out a big Tupperware box we have and filled it up on the porch. It was totally redneck and the neighbors stared, but she LOVED it. We are looking forward to getting back to ID where our baby pool lives though, and where we don't constantly get secondhand marajuana smoke in our faces. [Legal in Washington.]
For the most part, Audrey and I hanging out here all day does not inspire any great blog posts, especially not anything farm related. We look forward to being out of this very... stationary and secluded stage soon [check out that alliteration] when we head back to the farm in August.
However, I relearned recently how weird farmers truly are. I was talking to Logan on the phone and he casually told me he was currently shaking potato plants. .... You're what? Why? He shakes a potato plant, and counts the bugs that fall from it. What was even more weird to me than that is that it isn't weird for me to hear stuff like that anymore and it makes sense.
Remember to check tostada sizes before you order them, to be kind about other people's bodies, and to thank a farmer for finding joy in shaking potato plants so we can have delicious things like french fries that don't have diseases.
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