My left hand is basically useless to me. But, in all fairness. I really did believe in my heart that I was "both handed." ;)
So, I know little man is over 3 months old now, but I'm still running around like a chicken with my head cut off--A little lost, a
Babies are so sweet and wonderful, but MAN. They are hard work too. And the first few months are just rough, and I think we don't talk about it enough because we don't want people to think we can't handle it or that we aren't grateful for our kids. And also, we tend to forget a lot of it once it is over (thank goodness), and all we are left with are those sweet memories of holding our little angels while they sleep so sweetly.
I can actually remember being pregnant with Callum and thinking, oh, those first few months are nice because they can just sleep anywhere, so it won't be hard to go places for a while. Yeah... I just really didn't remember those newborn months very well. Here's some of my experiences, recorded, in part, so I can remember for next time and also because some are just funny.
My breast pump may not be sentient, but it does say words. It's kind of like an inspirational chant... Except not really because pumping just makes me feel like a cow. I actually have 2 different brands, and they say different things. My Ameda says, "Breast. (pause) PUMP. Breast. (pause) PUMP. ..." My Medela says, "Lenard, Lenard, Lenard ... Then Racoon Racoon Racoon..."
If Audrey sees me grab my pump, she says, "Ah foo, ah foo, ah foo." She knows what it's all about.
Logan thought I was a little crazy when I first told him this, until one night I heard him chanting along with it. And I knew he had finally arrived at my crazy tired place. I know I'm not the only one out there who knows about this. If you haven't realized it before, you will now.
You're welcome. ;)
We're still riding the rollercoaster of nursing. And I haven't even thrown up the oatmeal I need to gag down every morning yet, so we're calling it a win. ;)
A few weeks ago, I started to make this board on Pinterest called, "Things I wish I could eat right now." Yeah... Callum is a little sensitive. I can't have tomato or anything with much
Let's just say, when I am allowed to eat pizza again, I think we'll eat it for a straight week. (Kudos to those mamas who have to cut dairy and more. That would be way worse.)
But don't worry. I came to my senses and didn't actually make that board. I like to spend my time pinning much more realistic things, like pictures of people's spotless, gleaming houses that look exactly like mine right now...
I'm actually a neat freak. But you'd never know it by walking into my house these days. (A perfect example of why we shouldn't judge others.) When I was little, I would spend hours organizing and cleaning my room. There was a defined line of neatness and order where my side of the room started and my sister's ended. ;) Now, I live in somewhat, but mostly not, organized chaos.
Audrey is a great helper, even if sometimes the only thing she is helping me do is gain more patience. She wants to be doing whatever I am doing and is always cleaning with me. She even went through a phase of nursing her puppy or baby dolls. She nurses them, burps them, then throws them on the ground.
I promise she did not learn that last part from me.
She is growing up at the speed of light. We have her in a big girl bed. She is having a lot more 2 sided conversations now. Her imagination makes us laugh daily. She loves her brother most of the time, unless he's getting too much of "her" attention. She also likes to say, "Brother Awake!!" at the top of her lungs right when I get him to sleep or if he's starting to stir. ... He really likes that... She spends the fussy car rides saying, "It's ok, Brother." over and over.
We love our sweet girl.
We even love her when she gets out of her room in the middle of the night and scares the pants off of us by slamming our bedroom door.
Callum is a fussy guy. I really didn't know how stressful it is to have a fussy/colicky baby until him. When Audrey was a baby, I can remember feeling stressed out about going to the store or being in church because I knew she would probably cry at some point and I would want to be able to make a quick getaway. She was an average baby. And that stress was real.
Callum on the other hand.... I didn't want to go anywhere at anytime because his default setting for the first 3 months of his life was screaming. And when you have a fussy baby, I think a lot of people just kind of assume that you aren't feeding them enough or that you're doing something wrong, and they just want to talk to you about it at the store and give you a bunch of advice when all you're trying to do is get through the dang store as fast as you can. ... You know, not that I know from any kind of experience...
Do you think if I called WalMart everyday and asked them to bring Grocery Pickup to our store, that it would work?
But this awesome thing happened when he turned 3 months old. He started having like 5 whole minutes of content alone time where I wasn't holding him or feeding him or crying because I had been running on borrowed patience since 9AM and it was only 3 O'clock in the afternoon.
And then the 5 minutes became 10 and so on. He is still fussy a lot of the time, but boy, it is not nearly as bad as it was. I have finally started coming out of this horrible fog, right in time for the postpartum balding to set in. ;)
Anyways, if you have a really fussy baby, know that they DO grow out of it and also that if you can hold your temper long enough to not scream at someone to leave you alone at the store, it's totally ok to cry in the car. ;)
Now that Callum is older, he laughs a lot and plays and is such a sweetheart. He looks more and more like Logan everyday. He is a major momma's boy though. He loves to nurse, and will also take a bottle. We like to give him one right before bed. This has a made a big difference in everyone's sanity and has helped the nighttime fussy phase be less prolonged.
My most important confession is that I could not possibly do any of this without the best support team a girl could ask for. We like to tout the virtues and superpowers of moms, but it truly takes a village.
I have awesome resources to research and learn how to be a better parent. (I've recently been a huge fan of Parent's Magazine.) I have wonderful friends and family members. And I have the greatest husband who is always patient and kind to me. (Can't say enough about him.) Mostly, I am grateful that motherhood is a partnership with the Lord. Because I just don't possess the kind of patience that 2 kids under 2 require.
Remember that we're all a little crazy sometimes, and that's ok, baby giggles cure anything that ails you (for a short time anyways), and "corned beef and quesadillas" is totally an acceptable Irish dinner when you have screaming children and can't get around to making the potatoes.
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